Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Soccer Moms


Ok, aside from a REAL quick temper, a sickly sarcastic sense of humor, and sailors mouth I feel as if I am one of the most relaxed people on the planet. Seriously, if is isn't going to kill you, or a loved one, than who the hell cares! Well, let me introduce you to some of the soccer moms from Hayden's league. You see, apparently this year as he entered a U-10, traveling, div.3 team a "Team Mom" is needed. Who knew?! Not I! For the past 3-4 years everything seemed to be done from within the organization. The trophies were ordered, we were told to show up for the party and the parents organized themselves and raised money for coach gifts. Well, not this year. Below I am pasting the emails that graced my inbox this morning. Since I have a hard time separating text on "blogger" I'll try to use ------------ to separate the emails. I've also deleted real names and have added character appropriate pseudonyms. Sit back and enjoy the DRAMA.-------------------

Parents,

Our U-10 soccer team is still in need of a Team Mom or Dad to organize an end of season party, order trophies and gather funds for coaches' gifts. As I mentioned in my initial email to assign snacks / oranges, I absolutely can not take on this task. Coach Laura is aware that no one has offered to take on this role; and is now considering handling these tasks herself... I personally find such a situation unacceptable. Please understand that I am not offering to be a Team Mom because of the demands of my career... and if I could, believe you me, I would... but I just can't.

Please, please consider stepping up to help.
Best regards,

Becky Blackberry----------------------------------- Becky Blackberry,

Thanks for your time in putting together a snack/orange schedule. I agree that Laura should not have to take on these extra tasks. As a "sports mom" with six kids and about 9 years of assorted team experience, I thought I might give a few suggestions that have worked for me in past years. Firstly, it might be best to divide the tasks up instead of having one parent do it all, as we are all "career" moms or dads. On that note, Tommy and I will be glad to host the post-season party at our house immediately following the game on Nov. 8. Everyone can bring a dish and we will provide pizza or hamburgers/hot dogs. Trophies, gifts, etc. can be given out at that time. If parents prefer, we can have the party at an all-you-can eat pizza buffet and I will make the arrangements. While trophies are nice, they're not necessary. Personalized award certificates can be printed from Google on soccer stationery from Staples. If someone would like to order trophies, I can give you the names of places with which I have been pleased. If someone would like to volunteer to collect gift money, we could pick a practice date in the near future and everyone just needs to be sure to bring their money on that day so it would be a "one and done" for the parent collecting. If you forget, you would still have time to run to an ATM. Lastly, on the oranges, those wonderful little containers of OJ sold at Giant work just as well, with no cutting or counting. They're what I'll be bringing!Parents, share your thoughts or suggestions. Thanks, Mega Mom-------------------------------------Thank you "Mega Mom" for offering your home.I agree trophies are not necessary but I believe the club covers the expense (I'll confirm). If so, I will order them. Anyone for collecting money and coordinating gifts for coaches? Lastly, the small OJ's are a great idea! Becky Blackberry--------------------------I guess I'll collect the money and coordinate gifts for the coaches.

Thanks, Feeling Guilty-------------------I have a business relationship with Grimm Trophy in Shiloh. We can either go generic meaning all the trophies say “U10 Panthers 2008” or we can put names and years on them. I assume the latter would cost a little more. I can get quotes on both. Please send me the spelling you wish to appear on the trophy and I will get the cost difference and majority can rule on which direction we choose.

I am sure we are all busy, as Jacki and I have 3 kids and demanding careers, HS concession stands to run, etc… so I have found easy is best. For the party pick a date and have all the families go to either a Hungry Parrot or any pizza buffet place of our choosing. Have each family pay their way and we can get the establishment to set aside a corner of the place for us to have to ourselves. If everyone could send a few dates that work for them I will see if there is one that everyone is available and again send that back and majority can rule. I would prefer any day but Friday or weekends at the end of the year as there still may be some HS football games I would be attending, but that is just my theory. We can bring in a cake for Giant also.

I have two of the three 3 handled unless someone wants the party handled differently. If someone handles coaches then we can call it a day.

Warm Regards, Ricky Steamroller------------------------------- Ok, Karen talking again. OMG! Seriously people! It's a KIDS soccer team! These kids are out there striving to do their best and one of the moms wants to reward them with a printed piece of paper from Staples and OJ with an experation date of 2010 +! So much for "going for the gold" and "buy fresh, buy local!" Thank God that woman isn't on the Olympic Comittee! Durning the next Olympic games the athletes would be receiving paper awards on pretty paper from the Big Box Office Supply Chain! Oh, and to hell with the podium, just fold those babies in the form of paper airplanes and shoot them directly at the atheletes after their event! I LOVE the hard nosed, carreer driven parent! Perhaps they all need to travel back to the 70's (or plug into Sirius) and listen to "Cats Cradel". Wake up parents! When you're 80 sitting in your nursing home pissing yourself and wondering why the kids never come to visit THEN maybe you will realize that all of this running, drama, and chaos accomplished nothing but pissing away a life time and distancing you from those that love and need YOU (not the cell phone talking, blackberry typing, email checking, in a meeting, oh gotta go! You), but the REAL YOU most. Oh, and don't you even think for a moment that this is one of those "Stay at home Mom vs. Working Mom" battles. Nope! Let me help you remember, I have a college degree and could very easily be one of those blackberry typing, meeting attending, focusing on my carreer moms. But frankly, I've CHOOSEN my kids FIRST!

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