Thursday, May 29, 2008


After a day of guilty shopping I have a new outlook on the work "need". After having breakfast out with a girlfriend, checking out Ollies, purchasing pet food at Petsmart, shopping for shorts and flip-flops (for Ella) at Old Navy, spending more than I should have at The Christmas Tree Shoppe and indulging in fun summer items at Five Below I began to feel VERY guilty. James is off busting his butt at work and here I am, pissing all his hard work away! I started to think of those lists we had learned about in elementary school. Ya know, the need vs. want list. Well, did I REALLY need breakfast out? Did I REALLY need to buy Ella 2 pairs of flip-flops? Did I really need to purchase chairs for the porch? Did the kids really need more toys to destroy while playing outside? YES! If anyone read yesterday's post it would seem I was just a bit tense.... therefore, breakfast with a girlfriend WAS a mental necessity. Yes! Ella does require 2 sets of flip-flops.... James' WANTED a girl, now he must suffer the financial strain of properly raising a daughter. Yes! I had to buy chairs for the porch..... they were only $6.99! Yes! The fun summer items were much needed..... with only 7 more days of school left I need to delay the "I'm bored!" monster as long as I can. Ya know a Mom can go CRAZY after listening to 10+ hours of non-stop "I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored!" Yet after all of my rationalizations I was still feeling a bit guilty. So, I consulted "Mr. Webster" and ya know what.....according to him a need includes "Something required or wanted" Hallelujah! I did NEED everything after all! I am guilty no more! Who knew, all those years ago, that needs by definition include wants! Ya know, my elementary school list would have been much more streamlined if I had know this little tidbit back then! Now I can truly say... I want for nothing!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A Letter To No-Baby-Daddy and Her Ball-less Husband

Dear No-Baby-Daddy (NBD) and Ball-less Husband (BH),
It appears I have been quiet for too long. Due to resent events I have decided to speak out. So, sit back on your WT bums and listen up! DON'T MESS WITH MY FAMILY! Got it! I kept my mouth shut when the engagement came out of the blue, I kept my mouth shut when I discovered the age difference (after all who am I to judge a 10 age difference), I remained silent when I found out "Baby" had no Daddy, I was quiet when the wedding date was moved from October '08 up to April 'o8. Why didn't I say anything? It had nothing to do with me or my family. However, NOW your messin' with my Nieces', so BACK OFF NBD your stepping into my territory and (trust me) you are far too ghetto and wet behind the ears to stand up to me! I must say, at first, I fell for your quiet, innocent charm. I thought it was cute how you "maturely" stayed out of BH's relationship with his ex-wife (my sister). I though it was sweet how you included the girls in your weekend activities with "Baby". Yet now, as you wield your marriage certificate in one hand, you have begun to demean my nieces with the other. A belt! A G-d f'ing belt! In a parking lot! Oh, that's good! You, NBD, have shown your true colors by placing a meaningless material possession before the dignity of a 7 year old little girl. Congratulations! Would you like to continue playing "dignity limbo" I mean honestly.... how low CAN YOU go? Oh, while I'm at it, let me take a moment to question your ability to parent children. Why did the child have such a precious belt on in the first place. She was wearing a shirt which was longer than the waist of her shorts; therefor, the belt wasn't worn as a fashion accessory. It would seem the belt was being worn for functional reasons. Were her shorts too large to be worn without it? Why else would you allow a child to wear such an "important" belt? So, were you planning on having this little girl disrobe in a public parking lot? OOOOh, great parenting style! Now, since I have kept my self quiet for so long let me share a few little reminders with you. If you thought you were marring BH as a way to find a true replacement for a baby-daddy. Well, keep screwing with my Nieces and I'll make sure "Baby" finds out the truth on her 18th birthday. Ohhh, wouldn't that be good! Oh, and the 10 year age difference. Yeah, I can comment on that too! Ya see, my man was able to date women of his OWN age group before meeting me. He had actual relationships before he found me. Unlike the 4 year drought BH experienced before meeting you NBD. So enjoy being the young, naive chick who didn't know any better, because all the 30 year olds, had a head on their shoulders, and ran from what you are clinging too! Enjoy that and back off B*#CH you are messing with a family FAR less demure than the Wagners!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Memorial Day Weekend

Well, it's the end of May already. Really?! Amazing. This year, for Memorial Day, we have decided to visit the graves of our deceased family members who were war veterans. Hayden has really gotten excited about this idea. So far we have 6 family members we can think of who served during a time of war. Included in that count is my Great-great grandfather who was a Civil War veteran! This should be an interesting experience. We have paper and charcoal sticks to do tombstone rubbings and we plan on taking pictures as well. An added plus to this experience is the fact that we have pictures of most of these men in their service uniforms. This all should prove to be quite a historical collection for our family. I know it sounds a bit weird but over the years we have had quite a bit of fun visiting local cemeteries. The kids get a great math lesson as they try to figure out how long each person lived. It is also a great art history lesson. Have you ever taken notice to how grave markings have changed over the years? You can spot the elaborate and humorous even in death! Plus it challenges my kids not to fear death. I truly want them to have an appreciation of life AND death. We are a christian family and my children KNOW this life is not the end. So, appreciate the graveyards for what they are..... memorials of a transitional life! Well, hopefully all will go well and we will have pictures to post soon. As I said..... this should be interesting!

Monday, May 19, 2008

My Funk

I'm in a funk! Not just any funk, a funky funk. It's taken me a week to figure it out. At first I thought it might be my birthday. Since turning 30, birthday's have been sort of ugh. This year I turned 30 again, again. Ugh. Since I've started counting by 5's I'm still only 30. Once I turn 35 I'll have to fess up and actually be 35 (for five years of course). Well, b-day came and funk stayed. Then I though it might be Ella's birthday that was getting me down. My baby girl is officially 3, not such a baby anymore. Perhaps my funk was being caused by HER getting another year older. Nope, her b-day came and went and funk is still here. Today I figured it out! It's the BEEPING weather! It's approaching the end of May and it's 60 degrees! Well welcome to our Alaskan freakin summer! Where are my 70 degree days? Take a look at a current PA weather map, Ohio is in the 80's! Pennsylvania is obviously being punished. How can the entire U. S be in the mist of a heat wave and PA (along with the other 8 New England states) be in the beeping 60's! Well, I believe PA is being punished. God is finally punishing the Quakers for being prudes. I knew it would eventually happen, I just didn't know I'd be involved in the punishment. Well prudish Quakers ( yeah, their still around, their offspring govern this fine state of ours) put liquor in the grocery stores QUICK! Perhaps God will lift his countenance upon your repentance and bring on the warm weather! Don't wait! Do it now! Liquor in the grocery stores and if the state store must exist, for the sake of our climate it MUST be open on Sundays! And of course on the slim chance that I'm actually wrong..... at least I'll be able to stop by my Giant, pick up some Bailey's, add it to my morning coffee and have a great time keeping myself drunkenly warm until Mother Freakin Nature wakes up and realizes the North East exists!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Shopping At Target (With My Boys)

It's 1 am and I'm WIDE awake because my toe hurts! Why might my toe hurt? Because I took my boys shopping at Target. Now for many Mom's with boys I could most likely end the story here. Took boys shopping.... toe hurts... makes perfect sense to me! End of story. But, for those who have those "love to shop" little girls I feel I must share. Today I took my boys shopping. Both of them needed shoes, but seeing as there are only 20 days left in the school year (ie. before we enter full-time flip-flop season) I decided to take them to Target for shoes. We got to the store, found shoes that suited each personality and went directly to the gift wrap. The gift wrap was a needed item for my Mother's Mother's Day gift. Well, apparently Target's shoes were laced with speed, because instead of simply walking to the gift wrap section, the boys: took turns swinging each other around while holding onto one anther's collars, took GIANT slow motion running leaps, and bumped into, or cut off, the cart at least a dozen times. Seriously boys! We just had to walk one section over and to the front of the store. NOT FAR! Well as we were rolling through the gift wrap isle I made a jerking motion to prevent my kids from bumping into a passing cart. That's were the toe comes in. As I lunged at the boys I felt a sharp, stinging pain in my left pinkie toe. I look down to find my toenail hanging on by only a wee tiny sliver. I quickly exit the isle and enter the next one. By now a small puddle of blood has begun to form on my flip-flop and I'm hung over the cart blinking back tears. I am oblivious to anything around me as I wait for the initial pain to subside. Then I hear........"We're getting new paints! Can we get the BIG paper too? Oh, I want more sidewalk chalk! Can I get this too?" We were in the Crayola isle! Can no one notice their woozy pale faced mother bleeding from one of her appendages?! I quickly clean myself up and make my way to the registers while allowing the nail to flap off the side of my toe for fear that removal would require vomiting on Target's floor. We check out and briskly walk to the car. Mama says nothing, apparently the boys KNEW not to say ANYTHING. I turn on the car. God knew it was a bad moment......Bobby McGee was one the radio. (In my little world, many things are made better by listening to Janis Joplin sing Bobby McGee.) We make it into the house, I grab the tweezers, painfully pluck my nail from my toe and reminisce on the lessons I've learned today. 1. Don't take the boys shopping. 2. When your toe nail is ripped from your body, DON'T turn into the Crayola isle! Well that being said....Happy Mother's Day!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Update On Hayden

Hayden had another check-up at Hershey Medical Center today. The steroid injection worked and their is no evidence of swelling in his right knee. The steroid is to last 6-12 months; however, it is possible the fluid will not return for months or even years. We're going to keep praying that the fluid never returns to his knee, and for none of his other joints to be affected. He will return to Hershey in September, so we'll wait and see what we find out then. Thank you all for keeping him in your prayers.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

An Odd Evening With My Sister

Tonight my sister and her girls came over for dinner. The kids were full of energy and the weather was warm so we decided to eat outside. As usual, the kids finished and ran off to play. My sister and I stayed at the table and attempted to hold a conversation. Key word is attempt. The "conversation" actually went something like this: "Yeah, Hayden's pretty bummed since William won't be around anymore. No, that's broccoli not a little tree. I'm not asking you to eat a tree. I'm asking you to eat your vegetables. She changed his bus stop and expects her Dad to run over to her place every afternoon! What! What! Stop yelling in my ear! What on God's green earth could you possibly need. No, you do not need the car keys. NO! Your football isn't in the car. I don't' know where it is, but I just cleaned out the car and your football wasn't in it. No, your not looking for it. IT ISN'T IN THE CAR. I know, the woman is crazy. And why does her Dad agree to do it?! She as no idea what her actions are doing to her kids. WHY ARE YOU ALL IN THE CAR?! Get out! Now! Well I guess it's only on her nights but she did it without telling Josh and William first! Can you imagine how William must have felt..... Why is the hose on? Who turned it on? Turn it off. Now! Why are her new shoes soaked. Ok, up on your bed now!" How is that considered a conversation?! I suppose it's more like a "momsversation". Ya have a child and all the sudden you're immediately able to talk about 3 or more things a once! Amazing! To make the evening even more entertaining, Reid found an intact robins egg. It only had a few small cracks where it may have hit the ground. "Can I keep it?" he asks. "Sure, but it stays outside" I responded. Reid walks away lovingly holding his robin's egg. Moments later he returns...."Mama, I put my egg in the back of my dump truck and Rosa sat in my dump truck and now she has egg juice on her butt." Sure enough, Rosa has "egg juice" on her butt. Oh, and let's not forget, during tonight's events the children also taught my sister and I that...... (a)6 year olds cannot hang from the top bar of a swing set by plastic handcuffs (b) 2 year olds feel the need to soak their socks in a watering can before balling them up and placing them in their dry shoes (c) rocks should not be thrown at the van and (d) "I'm bored" actually translates into..."You won't let me do everything I want to do, whenever I want to do it!"

Monday, May 5, 2008

Letter To The Monster In Our House

Dear Mr. Monster,
This my final warning! I have given you softly spoken warnings. I have given you "screaming like a mad woman" threats. Still you have not complied. Therefore you have left me no other choice. This is my written warning. A warning for all the world to see! You must leave our house NOW! I'm not sure when you arrived, perhaps you've always been here, but lately you have been causing many problems in our otherwise calm household. First it was the constant, unexplained messes in the living room. Then the gross, science project like smears and spills in the kitchen. Now you have started picking on the children and leaving the seat up in the bathroom. I can not take such behavior any longer. You MUST LEAVE NOW! In your defence, I'm sure it isn't all your fault, but I can not believe my quiet,honest, loving, well behaved children could do such horrible things. Not only do you do them, but you walk away from them like you expect ME to clean them up. Well as you may know, the final straw broke last evening. In my sprint to the bathroom for my chance at a "private pee" my butt went over the rim of the potty and directly into the bowl. I screamed and interrogated each male in the house. Each one of them adamantly denied leaving the seat up. Yes, that's right, they all pointed the finger at you. Honestly, who else could it be! Who else would push my daughter and then deny it? Who else would draw on my sons' homework or stick half eaten lollipops into their book bags? My children, acting harshly toward one another? How dare you even suggest such actions! That's it Mr. Monster! No more toothpaste dollops laying on the bathroom sink, no more half eaten Go-gurt tubes leaking on the floor, no more unexplained broken coffee cups and NO MORE RAISED TOILET SEATS! Good-bye Mr. Monster! It has been decided my angelic children would do best without the likes of you! Good-Bye!

Sunday, May 4, 2008


Hayden's vision therapist gave him a web site for a book swap. Last evening we checked it out, it looks like a great idea! Both Hayden and I LOVE to read. As a result we are often left with books that we've read but don't know what to do with. Often we just pass them along, but now we can trade them for free books. All that is required is postage on the book you are sending. If this sounds like something you might be interested in, check out the site at It is not just for paperbacks. It is for all books! We just listed our books, so I'll let you know how it goes. I also have a link to the site on my blogs sidebar. If this post gets shuffled off the page, you can still easily get the site on the sidebar. Hope this helps all the avid readers out there!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Football Game and H.D. Update!

Today was Reid's football game. He did very well. Most of his playing time was spent "smack talking" and making faces at the other players. That boy is too funny! I love it. His one chance at holding the ball was during the snap to the Q.B. He snapped it and the ball went rolling down the field. James and I both decided that the snap was perfect, the Q.B. must be farsighted. When things fail on the field, ALWAYS secretly blame another persons kid! Ha-ha! He was also given a pin and certificate for his participation in football camp. All first year campers got a pin and certificate. Second year campers were awarded medals, and third year campers were given trophies. Reid was quite happy with his pin and certificate. We'll now have to turn our soccer trophy wall into a soccer/ football combo wall! Hayden has four more games and three more academy practices before his spring season is over. Then we'll have a summer sports break until the fall soccer season starts in August. Ok, now.... since I've written about it in the past, I must mention the following info as an update. Last evening James was watching the Tonight Show. According to Jay Leno's monologue, Home Depot is closing 15 stores! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Yeah, I'm sure if one was to contact H.D. they would give some B.S response about restructuring during an economic recession. Whatever! Face it H.D. Americans love their Lowe's! Oh, and truck drivers too! For all those who don't know James' H.D. story.... call me. I'm not putting that story into cyberspace for all to read, because (wink, wink) it never happened....during a Boston. Ok, that's all I can say! Shhhhh! Call me. So, Truckers AND Americans love Lowe's! Not to say truckers aren't' Americans, well actually the way James talks less and less of them actually are! Which way to Mexico?!

Thursday, May 1, 2008


Up this morning until 2:15am. I went to bed and woke James up. Stayed awake long enough to make sure James STAYED awake. Quickly fell asleep. 2:45am Hayden yells, "Mom, MOM! I need a tissue." I hear him, but I continue to stay in bed hoping James (who is still getting ready for work) will get a tissue for him. No tissue from James. Stumble out of bed and into the boy's room. Hand Hayden a tissue.....and fall unconscious into my bed. 5:00am I wake to Ella staring at me. "I wan you!" she yells. "Shhhhh! Don't wake the boys!" I snap back. "Climb up into bed" "No me wanna see my shows" "It's too early for your shows" "Me wanna see my shows now!" In an effort to keep the boys sleeping, I drag myself out of bed to prove to Ella that her shows aren't on yet. We get to the TV, search the interesting shows for Ella. Hooray, back to bed I think....nope. Boys hear TV....boys wake. Ella is at this point searching for breakfast. So much for 8 hours of sleep! Ha! Ha! Ha! 8 hours! Yeah, right!