Chelsea's Latest Kill

For the past week "Ms. Chelsea Kill-It-All" has been digging at something living under our shed. On Thursday she recruited Dexter to join her in her frantic dig. Each time we let them out they both ran directly for the shed and dug, dug, dug. We now have 3 holes leading under our shed. Tonight after spending an evening at my parents, we opened the door and both Chelsea and Dexter flew past us. One ran on one side of the shed, one ran on the other side. Soon there was a whole bunch of commotion and growling....then silence. Dexter returned to the house. Chelsea remained completely still. I yelled for James to come outside, thinking Chelsea had caught her leg in the soccer net that sits next to the shed. As soon as I yelled, Chelsea emerged carrying an....Opossum! Ugh! Kill count is now: 1 rabbit, 1 squirrel, 2 rats (hello! we didn't even know rats lived around here!) and now 1 opossum. Uh, yes, the picture is necessary. We've begun a "Faces of Death: Chelsea Edition"

Type B Mom Raises Type A Boys And One Foul-Mouthed Girl

So, this morning as Ella and I were eating our breakfast. The boys (who had already finish eating, brushed their teeth and packed their bags) were putting their shoes on and swinging their bags onto their backs. I looked at both of them for a moment, they caught my eyes staring at them and give me that "what?" look. "Ah, hello! Your sister and I are still eating, where do you think you're going." Reid gasps and says, "Mom! We have to get to school!" I roll my eyes," Reid, Ella and I are sitting here eating, I still don't have a shower and we still have 20 min. before you NEED to be at school." Both Hayden and Reid sigh and drop their bags, Hayden rolls his eyes, "Did we miss the bus?" I hold my breath thinking of how I can answer without being seen as the LAZIEST parent in the world. Ah, I give up, "Yes." I respond, "We missed the bus!" "Well then we need to catch up to that damn bus!" Yells Ella. I turn my head to see Ella with her mouth hanging open and her eyes popping out of her head. Did my 3 year old just say, damn?! "Ella, what did you say?" "We need to catch that DAMN bus!" she responds. Before I can even address that, Reid has his face pressed up into mine. "Why did we miss the bus?" he groans. "Because I overslept" I coolly answer. Reid sighs like I'm the biggest disappointment in his life. I sit at the kitchen table in awe of the sight before me, and think, who was dragging your butt out of bed yesterday while you were screaming about never going to school again. Now, suddenly a day later you're determined to become a Harvard grad! What?! We finally all pile into the van and pull into school with plenty of time to spare. As Hayden exits he looks at me and says, "Mom did you shower yet?" "No, why?" "I think you might stink." "Ah, I so do not, I sniffed!" "I think you sniffed wrong!" Both boys take a few steps away from the van and become engulfed in a small sea of kids entering the building. I wind down my window, "I LOVE YOU!" I yell at the top of my lungs! Not many turned to see which weirdo mom was trying to embarrass her kids, but I KNOW mine knew exactly which stinky, Pj wearing mom was loudly declaring her love for beautiful Type A children. I expect that Amazing Mom award any day now!

The Hearse?!

So far I've seen 2 of these parked across the street from our house. One this AM and one is there now. Starting to freak out. Thinking I missed some sort of Godly message. One more and I'll be calling someone just to see if I'm still actually here! Creepy!

Soccer Moms

Ok, aside from a REAL quick temper, a sickly sarcastic sense of humor, and sailors mouth I feel as if I am one of the most relaxed people on the planet. Seriously, if is isn't going to kill you, or a loved one, than who the hell cares! Well, let me introduce you to some of the soccer moms from Hayden's league. You see, apparently this year as he entered a U-10, traveling, div.3 team a "Team Mom" is needed. Who knew?! Not I! For the past 3-4 years everything seemed to be done from within the organization. The trophies were ordered, we were told to show up for the party and the parents organized themselves and raised money for coach gifts. Well, not this year. Below I am pasting the emails that graced my inbox this morning. Since I have a hard time separating text on "blogger" I'll try to use ------------ to separate the emails. I've also deleted real names and have added character appropriate pseudonyms. Sit back and enjoy the DRAMA.-------------------

Parents,

Our U-10 soccer team is still in need of a Team Mom or Dad to organize an end of season party, order trophies and gather funds for coaches' gifts. As I mentioned in my initial email to assign snacks / oranges, I absolutely can not take on this task. Coach Laura is aware that no one has offered to take on this role; and is now considering handling these tasks herself... I personally find such a situation unacceptable. Please understand that I am not offering to be a Team Mom because of the demands of my career... and if I could, believe you me, I would... but I just can't.

Please, please consider stepping up to help.
Best regards,

Becky Blackberry----------------------------------- Becky Blackberry,

Thanks for your time in putting together a snack/orange schedule. I agree that Laura should not have to take on these extra tasks. As a "sports mom" with six kids and about 9 years of assorted team experience, I thought I might give a few suggestions that have worked for me in past years. Firstly, it might be best to divide the tasks up instead of having one parent do it all, as we are all "career" moms or dads. On that note, Tommy and I will be glad to host the post-season party at our house immediately following the game on Nov. 8. Everyone can bring a dish and we will provide pizza or hamburgers/hot dogs. Trophies, gifts, etc. can be given out at that time. If parents prefer, we can have the party at an all-you-can eat pizza buffet and I will make the arrangements. While trophies are nice, they're not necessary. Personalized award certificates can be printed from Google on soccer stationery from Staples. If someone would like to order trophies, I can give you the names of places with which I have been pleased. If someone would like to volunteer to collect gift money, we could pick a practice date in the near future and everyone just needs to be sure to bring their money on that day so it would be a "one and done" for the parent collecting. If you forget, you would still have time to run to an ATM. Lastly, on the oranges, those wonderful little containers of OJ sold at Giant work just as well, with no cutting or counting. They're what I'll be bringing!Parents, share your thoughts or suggestions. Thanks, Mega Mom-------------------------------------Thank you "Mega Mom" for offering your home.I agree trophies are not necessary but I believe the club covers the expense (I'll confirm). If so, I will order them. Anyone for collecting money and coordinating gifts for coaches? Lastly, the small OJ's are a great idea! Becky Blackberry--------------------------I guess I'll collect the money and coordinate gifts for the coaches.

Thanks, Feeling Guilty-------------------I have a business relationship with Grimm Trophy in Shiloh. We can either go generic meaning all the trophies say “U10 Panthers 2008” or we can put names and years on them. I assume the latter would cost a little more. I can get quotes on both. Please send me the spelling you wish to appear on the trophy and I will get the cost difference and majority can rule on which direction we choose.

I am sure we are all busy, as Jacki and I have 3 kids and demanding careers, HS concession stands to run, etc… so I have found easy is best. For the party pick a date and have all the families go to either a Hungry Parrot or any pizza buffet place of our choosing. Have each family pay their way and we can get the establishment to set aside a corner of the place for us to have to ourselves. If everyone could send a few dates that work for them I will see if there is one that everyone is available and again send that back and majority can rule. I would prefer any day but Friday or weekends at the end of the year as there still may be some HS football games I would be attending, but that is just my theory. We can bring in a cake for Giant also.

I have two of the three 3 handled unless someone wants the party handled differently. If someone handles coaches then we can call it a day.

Warm Regards, Ricky Steamroller------------------------------- Ok, Karen talking again. OMG! Seriously people! It's a KIDS soccer team! These kids are out there striving to do their best and one of the moms wants to reward them with a printed piece of paper from Staples and OJ with an experation date of 2010 +! So much for "going for the gold" and "buy fresh, buy local!" Thank God that woman isn't on the Olympic Comittee! Durning the next Olympic games the athletes would be receiving paper awards on pretty paper from the Big Box Office Supply Chain! Oh, and to hell with the podium, just fold those babies in the form of paper airplanes and shoot them directly at the atheletes after their event! I LOVE the hard nosed, carreer driven parent! Perhaps they all need to travel back to the 70's (or plug into Sirius) and listen to "Cats Cradel". Wake up parents! When you're 80 sitting in your nursing home pissing yourself and wondering why the kids never come to visit THEN maybe you will realize that all of this running, drama, and chaos accomplished nothing but pissing away a life time and distancing you from those that love and need YOU (not the cell phone talking, blackberry typing, email checking, in a meeting, oh gotta go! You), but the REAL YOU most. Oh, and don't you even think for a moment that this is one of those "Stay at home Mom vs. Working Mom" battles. Nope! Let me help you remember, I have a college degree and could very easily be one of those blackberry typing, meeting attending, focusing on my carreer moms. But frankly, I've CHOOSEN my kids FIRST!

My New Friend

Say hello to my new little friend. Actually mine isn't nearly as cute as this one, but still very small and and has been strapped to my side since yesterday at noon. Why? You ask. Well, James' employer has challenged each of their employees and family members to the "10,000 steps a day challenge". James and I jumped on board, not only is this a great way to raise the competitive spirit between James and myself, but the employer has upped the ante with some great prize packages. So......GAME ON! Now, after almost two days, here are my findings...... MY ASS IS LAZY! I mean not lazy as in sit around eating bon-bons all day, but definitely lazy as in NOWHERE CLOSE TO 10,000 STEPS A DAY! Wow! Yesterday, after reading all the info and calibrating the pedometer, I clipped it on my pants and continued to go about my daily chores. Ya know, running after Ella, laundry, dishes, dogs, cleaning ect. So, at the end of the day I unclipped it and thought for sure it would read 5,000 steps or more. I mean honestly, It WAS a half day! Common! But NO! To my surprise, dismay, horror and shock it read 2227. What the?! Suddenly I realize why this is called a "challenge"! Now, today after a full day of running after Ella, taking the boys to school, dropping off / picking up Ella, doing errands, and participating in Family Fun Night I'm still only at 4140! Still not even half of my goal! Ok, now here is the moment I've been dreading.....(drum roll please)......let's check James' number. Here we go....I'm asking......it is.....4853! Now how the hell is that possible! The man rides around in a truck all day! Oh, ok, here it comes....his reasoning....."I have to get out of the truck at each stop!" NO! Ya know what I think? Bouncing around on an air ride seat....cha-ching! One bounce = One step! Cha-ching! Oh, and who rocked Ella tonight?! Cha-ching! I'm walking, jumping and shaking my booty and I still haven't gotten more than him! OH! That's it! I'm spending the morning jumping, rumbaing, pacing and rocking! I WILL NOT LET HIM WIN!

Ella Was Quiet And Look What Happened.......

The above picture is evidence of a briefly unattended Ella. This morning I sat her down in front of Diego and began checking emails and emailing the boys teachers. Ya know, checking up after a weeks vacation. Well, Ella LOVES Diego, so I thought I would have at least 15 minutes to devote to catching up. NOOOOOO! About 5 minutes into Diego I hear Ella laughing and saying, "Look Mama I have Ella hair on me!" That's what I say when I have a stray, long, loose hair hanging off of me. I'll say something like, "Oh, it's a Mama hair." Well I turn to see her back, and the chair, covered in loose curls! So, I calmly ask her what she did and she replies, "Me cut my hair with the scissors from the boy's room. He he he!" AHHHHHH! Ok. 1. How many times do I have to tell those little buggers to put their stuff away and up far away from Ella's reach! and 2. It was only 5 MINUTES and we were in the same room! AHHHHH! I'm either a REALLY bad mom or I gave birth to Houdini's offspring! The boys have turned out ok, so I'm putting money on that girl being related to a long dead contortionist! PLEASE GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH! Now here's a thought, what the hell is she into while I'm doing this?!.....................................Just checked..all good! Oh, gotta go we are now rummaging through the fridge!

Our Beach Vacation

Well the Dressel/Klahold/Wagner families survived! We all co-existed for a WHOLE week under the same roof and we all survived to tell about it. Not only did we survive, but we had an AWESOME time! I honestly didn't realize how badly this little Klahold klan needed a vacation. It was great to get away and chill by the ocean. We spent the majority of our time in Ocean City, MD. However, we took a day trip to Chincoteague / Assateague Island VA to show the kids our old stomping grounds. Dad, James, Hayden and Kenny also spent a day on an ocean fishing charter. This was Hayden's first time fishing on a BIG boat in the ocean. Mama was worried, but he had a great time and did great! Mom, Wendy, Cora, Rosa, Reid, Ella and I took a tour of Assateague MD own a big 'ole pontoon boat. It was fun. Not only did we learn about the history of Ocean City, but we also got to get out on Assateague and search for ocean "critters". Enjoy the pics!

New Computer

I am SOOOOOO excited! We have a new computer! Ahhhhhh! It's 2:10am and I'm still wide awake playing on it! WE'RE BACK!!!!!

First Day Of School

August 26 was the boys first day of school. However due to a dead computer, I'm just posting the pictures now. The extra people in the photos are our neighbors. William, Lexi and their Dad, Josh, joined us on our walk to the bus the first day. William rides the bus with the boys and Lexi and Ella provide the "Little Sister Cheering Squad" as the boys enter and exit the bus. Both of the boys LOVE their teachers and have really been enjoying school. I'll keep everyone updated as the school year (and soccer season) progress. For now, enjoy pictures of the boys first day of school.